Defense mechanisms. They have always been an interesting psychological facet to me. Denial, devaluation, fantasy, displacement and projection are some of those.
It is not something that we should be ashamed of having. Defense mechanisms are "unconscious" guards that our "unconscious selves" put on whenever we are placed in a new, weird, difficult, challenging and unwanted position. But I guess, even these guards can also cause damage, especially when allowed to take over too often. Yes, they are unconsciously tapped, but at the end we are still rational, thinking beings blessed with free-will. If something more important than our ego is at stake, don't you think that it's just right to put down our guards and face this ugly, painful, ego-stabbing reality?
I know. I know. You are definitely gonna tell me that all these are way easier said than done. Guess what? You're right! Why do you think we have these defenses if facing reality is as easy as watching our all-time favorite movie? It is hard. Excruciating. Ego-crushing. Pride-pulvorizing. But, then again, until when will we trap ourselves behind such defenses? Until when will we be happy living in a world with no pain, but all gain? Until when will we be satisfied with looking ourselves in the mirror and watching the same old person do the same old things?
In reality, all things that cannot be bought are more priceless and important than our ego - friendship, genuine happiness, family, faithfulness, loyalty, faith, hope, love. There is nothing wrong with protecting ourselves, it only becomes wrong if we start edging the things that truly matter out in our lives because of fear, in any way and form. Let's live in love, coz genuine love drives out all fears.
