Life - 1 = Life + 1..2..3...

When I thought that nothing can go right in my life.. when I've imagined myself being down in the dumps for weeks... I turned out better than I expected. I practically outdid myself.

When life has taken away the source of my happiness for almost a year, I thought that life from then on will be miserable. Life surprised me. It has turned out to be the exact opposite.


 When I was ready to be down & sad, life gave me almost a hundred reasons to smile & be happy... Life gave me my students. Their smiles.. their words.. their appreciation of my presence have kept me going. They fueled my, what I thought, 'empty-tanked-life'. Though I needed to end my stay with them, I'm thankful enough to have spent weeks with them & to have heard their sweet words telling me that they'll miss me & that they want me to come back.


Life has been extra generous with its compensations. It didn't stop there.


Life once again reminded me that there are gazillion more people who care for me & who love me. These people are called... Friends... True Friends. Friends that are willing to cross an extra kilometer to be with you and make you smile. Friends that remind you of how great & beautiful a person you are. Friends that no matter what had happened have always stayed & listened & comforted. I always knew that I have great friends, but the love that I lost has made my friends' stars in my life shine brighter. There light is so overwhelming that I couldn't bring myself to frown & cry anymore. Such a great compensation.



And the last. The best of all life's compensations for what I have lost. My family. They have given me the most unselfish understanding. And they have assured me, that there is indeed a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. That something good, maybe the best, is yet to come. Their love.. their care.. their presence & support is life's yet best compensation.




A lost love has helped me find my way back to love... a love that has always been in the confines of my humble little home. 

- iaVember

Mind Over Matter

Life has its way of surprising us. I, for one, was surprised (even shocked) of what it has prepared for me.

Just when I thought that things will be happy and okay... things came crashing. And right now, I am torned between moving on and lingering.

It's hard to let go of something (of someone) when it has meant the whole world to you for the longest time. And what makes it harder, is that, just when you thought that you'd make it.. something happens and proves you wrong. If I could only do this alone. If I could just solve this dilemma on my own.. I would've already done that. But I need him now more than I ever needed him before when all were happy and full of love.

I don't even know what to think or feel right now. He left everything hanging. I don't know where to start picking all the pieces. And this makes it harder for me... all I want is to be happy.. and for the longest time I wanted to be happy with him.. but right now.. all these are but like the wind... unseen yet felt.. intangible yet affects.

As a start.. though my heart & mind are still lost on what to do... I have post-its on my cabinet door to remind me that life doesn't end here. There are still more to life than the pain and dilemma that I am going through. And right now, since clarity has not yet visited my doors. I am doing my best to be happy with what and who I have left.